“A Message from Jac”

Jac had two copies of a book called “Safe Passage, Words to Help the Grieving”. In one of the books she kept notes and messages her Mother had written to her through the years. Whenever Jac would go to Europe to work her Mother would always leave a note or card in her bag to read on the plane. For all occasions or none at all Jac and her Mother would leave each other notes. When Jac’s Mother passed Jac would still find notes hidden for her to find. She saved them all. The ones in this book meant the most to her, and sometimes she would read  to me a note or a card. She wanted this book with all of her special notes to be cremated with her, and so it was…………..She left me a second copy of the book with little pieces of paper marking pages she wanted me to read. I have not been able to open it. This morning, before I write to Jac, I decided to randomly open it up and read a page. This is what the message said…………

………………..”We know ourselves by the stories we tell. Losing you has dismantled my story line and shaken my plot; the tale I tell about who I am and where I am going doesn’t make sense anymore. I want desperately to find other words that will imagine my life anew. I just don’t know where and how that story will begin”.

This Post Has 35 Comments

  1. Barbara in Virginia

    Hi, Louis; Just wanted you to know that I check in every day to see how you are doing, as I’m sure others are doing as well. Do please keep writing us and sharing your difficult journey, which so many of us have also traveled. We are all here for you. XXOO Barbara

  2. unpeudemoi, aka Patricia

    Dear, Dear Louis,

    Your loss is immeasurable and is shared by all those of whom you and your wonderful Jac touched. My heart aches for you. You are sure to find comfort in close friends, your little Scotties and the, as yet undiscovered, Jac-notes. Thank you for sharing some of your journey of grief with us. My condolences and prayers.

    Patricia

  3. vicki.

    Dear Louis. I have thinking about you so often and hope that you are surrounded by friends and family who love Jac as much as you

    I hope you continue to find comfort and strength in Jac’s words. and they will help you through each day. I always thought that that you and Jac were Magic together. It came right through the television .. what wonderful memories

    Sending you warm thoughts and prayers

    Vicki

  4. Katie Lyles

    Louis, I pray each day for your comfort and peace in this very difficult time of losing the love of your life.There are 5 stages of grieving after the loss of a loved one.Kübler-Ross has written on the subject in depth if you would like to look her up. Everyone is unique and deals with death in their own way, but we all go through most of her stages. Know that we whose lives you have touched in such a great way are praying for you each day. I use to tell my husband all the time that you could just see the way you loved Jac. Your admiration and love for her were so wonderful to see in a world that doesn’t have that depth of love very often.It radiated on air often without a word being said.It was such a beautiful love story.

  5. Anne

    Dear Louis,
    What a beautifully wise woman! I love the line “We know ourselves by the stories we tell.” I believe that absolutely. I think that we also know ourselves by the stories we create with those whom we love, and you and Jac created many.
    I admire you for drawing on the strength of your love for each other to take the next step to continue that story.
    Thanks for sharing this; many of us have gone through loss, and your honest opening of your own heart to us is very giving.
    Anne

  6. Corky

    Louis ~

    How grateful you must feel to have writings from your Jac. That is so wonderful and loving of her to have left for you. Truly powerful and special to savor and embrace.
    When my parents passed away, each came back as hummingbirds. My siblings and our children all have hummingbird sightings. Shortly, after my mum passed away ( my dad had been gone 4 years) I spotted 2 hummingbirds together ( only would see one previously) so if you are open to believing you will see. It’s wonderful to carry all the lovely memories in your heart. The picture of you and Jac is so endearing. Hope you are eating well ( hugely vital) , getting sleep and getting out with your close friends is so important. Your family and friends just want to be able to help and make sure you are doing okay. God Bkess and prayers for you and Jac. All the best. Corky Corcoran Douglas

  7. Evelyn

    Dear Louis
    It’s so obvious that your connection with Jac is eternal.Jac is with you always.She is helping you grieve.When the time is right she will guide you towards the light. Thank you so much for allowing us to share your journey.You are not alone my friend.You have us & you have your beloved Jac.4Vu

  8. LauraL

    Dear Louis,

    It is so clear the love you and Jac shared with each other. It is wonderful that she remembered how much her mom leaving her notes and inspirations helped her and that she wanted to do the same for you. It is clear in that passage that she knew it would be hard for you but that you need to continue your story for both of you. Please keep reaching out to those that love you and to Jac (who will always love you) for inspiration during this tough time.

    LauraL (Your travelling lady)

  9. Rebecca

    Jac really is a remarkable woman with an obviously deep, soul-encompassing love for you. For her to help you and guide you through your grief is a true gift. The complete faith you have in her that she will be with you always is a testament to your once-in-a-lifetime relationship, too, which I believe allows you to be open to Jac communicating with you now. I realize all this, while a blessing, must also be quite bittersweet (to put it mildly), and I don’t discount how very difficult this surely is. I truly hope our prayers and good wishes for you make this somehow slightly easier, and I pray your pain lessens each day.

    Louis, please forgive me but I must ask – how are The Girls? I’ve been thinking of them and praying for them, too. If you are able to give us an update on how they are, I’m sure I’m not the only one who would appreciate that. All of you are loved.

  10. Carol

    Hugs to you, Louis. You are so loved by so many. Hope you can feel it. It’s a really big love.

    crdlb

  11. Yvette

    Dear Louis,
    I feel that ever since Jac’s passing, you are on a journey and you so very graciously are taking us on that journey with you. I am honored to be included and want you to know that I check this blog every day and remember both of you in my prayers daily. You have truly been blessed to have the love of a woman who is looking out for you not just in this life, but from the next. Please continue to read from the book Jac left you, and take to heart her messages!

  12. Pam

    Dear Louis,

    Your love for Jac and her love for you is eternal and oh so special. She is looking after you. Thank you for sharing this with us.

    Pam

  13. Michelle

    Louis

    Like many of the Linea ladies, I check your blog daily. I hope that you can feel how much we care for you and that our thoughts/prayers continue to help you as you try to imagine your life anew.

    Michelle

    P.S. Before the holidays, I had reached out to ask how I might remove some wrinkles in the alabaster lamb leather jacket. You kindly offered a suggestion on how I might carefully iron the jacket. I wanted to let you know that the ironing process was a success. I love my alabaster leather jacket even more now that it is wrinkle free.

  14. Anonymous

    Louis,
    You are truly blessed to have had Jacque’s love in your life. To find a partner who adores you and you adore is a dream that all of us have and you got to enjoy that. She was a wonderful person and I always admired the way you treated her. Your love for her came across to us even though we never met in person. The way you spoke about her and the way you two were intertwined in each others live was something to be admired. I pray that you glow in knowing that you were able to show her that and feel the same love in return. God bless

    1. nikki

      sorry my name got deleted from the above message

  15. Terri (TexasMom1)

    Louis, I check your blog every day and there is not a single one that passes that I don’t stop and think of you and say a little prayer for you. Your are a remarkable man to share this journey with us. I pray that every day gets a little better for you. Please know that you are not alone in this new chapter for your life. Sending a “hug and a kiss” your way.

  16. LindaSonia

    What a wonderful relationship Jac had with her Mother. Anyone would be blessed to have that. You are reaping blessings from that relationship as well, on top of the blessings you received when you found and shared your life with Jac. It’s really extraordinary and I feel blessed as well to share it with you in some small way. ((Hugs))

  17. Ruth

    The passage you read from Molly Fumia’s book Made me think of this from Wendell Berry, “I don’t believe that grief passes away. It has its time and place forever. More time is added to it; it becomes a story within a story. But grief and griever alike endure.”

  18. Melissa

    Your post is so touching in so many ways. The way Jac’s mom left her notes and how/where Jac kept them. How she wanted to be cremated with them. How she left you a book…

    The passage you read really hit home. After my husband passed, I thought my book, my story, had ended. But it hadn’t. My story just wasn’t going to end the way I anticipated. None of us know how our story will end but we often have hopes of how things will turn out. Eventually I moved on to the next chapter of my life. It is so different than I thought it would be, but I just keep going forward having faith that things will be okay. The past chapters are not forgotten, they are a big part of who I am and a wonderful part of my story. I will treasure my memories but also look forward to making new ones.

    I love that you finally read part of the book and hope you continue to do so, when it feels right. Thank you for sharing. Hugs to you.

  19. Bobbie

    Dear Louis,
    You said that your physical journey with Jac has ended and that your spiritual journey with her has begun. I believe that is true, and the spiritual one can be deeper and sweeter than the physical one. Jac has helped you begin this spiritual journey with the nmessages of comfort and encouragement she is sending you. On the spiritual level, we learn more about ourselves and our loved one and become more spiritually in tune with others. We are more able to see past the faces, the circumstances, and the words to the spirit of the person and are better able to help, encourage, or pray for them. Jac must have been a very wise and immensely caring person to persevere. I believe that these messages she has so lovingly left you are meant to guide you through the sorrow to your future. Not only must she have had great admiration and respect for you, but she must have understood how deeply she inspired you.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you. Praying that you experience God’s grace and love in everything around you.

  20. Elaine

    Dear Louis,
    Thank you for sharing your heart and your beautiful Jac with us.
    Your are in my prayers.
    Sending a hug and kiss to you,
    Elaine

  21. Ceicei (Cecilia)

    What a special love you shared. Your stories are wonderful. I think you need to write a book about love and your life with Jac. Even if I hadn’t had a glimpse into your lfe with Jac these past years, I would want to read your story. You give us all inspiration to hold our loved ones close and to continue to honor and remember all who we have loved and lost. They will never be forgotten if we continue to remember them, share their memories and continue to see signs everyday that they leave for us. Thank you for sharing your stories with us during this time, it means alot to me and I am sure many others. I check your posts every day.

  22. WNYGAL/APRIL

    What a gift, and what a woman. You have been truly blessed. Peace will come.

    April

  23. Sheesh

    Dear Louis, what I took from the passage is that life is a mystery, ever unfolding, embrace it as you continue to embrace dear Jac–and walk forward into the unknown..it’s a message of hope, not despair. Walk bravely into the future….

    Sheila/Sheesh

  24. Karen In WI

    It was good that you opened that book Louis.

    I don’t know if you are a Bible reader, Louis, but Psalm 23 is my son’s favorite verse and has comforted him through more trials than a 17 yo should know.
    1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing
    2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
    he leads me beside quiet waters,
    3 he refreshes my soul.
    He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
    4 Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,[a]
    I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
    your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

    Warm thoughts and prayers your way today.

  25. Ginny

    What a love story you two share!
    You and Jac have always been so gracious to all of us. As you find the strength to read more of her marked passages may it give you peace and comfort.
    God Bless,
    Ginny

  26. Karen in WA

    You will find them…

  27. queendiva

    Beautiful and powerful. Thank you for your open heart and generous spirit to share your message from your beloved Jac with your devoted friends here.
    Hoping that our prayers will sustain and support you each day of your new journey.
    Come here to share with us as often as you like. We are always here for you.

  28. karlakaye

    Dear Louis,
    You didn’t “randomly” find that passage (and what a message it is!) as the first one to read. Jac opened it for you.
    Thinking of you today and each and every day.
    Karla

  29. Fairfax

    I’m finding it difficult to find the right words. These five Linea Ladies have said it best. Thank you all for writing the words some of us have been searching for to share comfort, support, and prayers. We are with you, Louis. God bless

  30. Mignardise

    I am so sorry for your loss. As many have written, you and your wife have defined class and elegance and grace in a world where these qualities seem to be diminishing yearly. Your beautiful wife will be missed by your Linea ladies. I always loved it when she would model one of your lovely outfits, accessorized so perfectly, and you would often say: “Who doesn’t want to look like that?” Indeed!

    I happened to hear Dr. Laura on the car radio yesterday give advice to a caller who needed guidance after her husband recently passed. She said the first year would simply be difficult, no way around it. One foot in front of the other, one day at a time.

    She also said 3 things would help: friends, food (healthy food, that is), and sleep(getting enough rest). Your Linea ladies are behind you all the way.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, and the signs you have been receiving. Perhaps your love of design will help you through this painful time.

  31. Connie

    How remarkable Jac was and is. She takes care of you every day. The spiritual part is so important.

  32. Sylvia Pickich

    Wow!

  33. Somersault

    Louis, what a comfort for you to start your day! Here, you sit down to write to her and she wrote to you first. What beautiful words she has chosen this morning to leave you. How powerful they are. She will make sure you have the strength to continue. She will not leave you in your time of need and sorrow. She will lift you and strengthen you as she, always, has. She will wrap you in her love and caring and gently help you grieve with each new day. It is her love of you that will sustain you. oxoxoxo Cat

  34. Victoria1

    The first message of this book is jac is on this journey with you and Eastern religions teach us that your soul finds the message you need when you need it. There is solace in words written and spoken. As I am sure you do, always acknowledge to jac her presence or an epiphany her grace has brought you. Your heart is exhausted. Take your time.
    Rest on the prayers of those who care about you.
    I wish you well today.
    Victoria

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